Why should overweight ladies be the only ones that get to complain? You know, skinny girls have problems, too. For instance, there isn't a pair of jeans on planet earth that will fit me correctly without the aid of a belt. Which is not always the most fashionable choice. Many outfits I've wanted to sport over the years have suffered due to this fact.
As if that's not already enough tragedy to endure, consider the fact that I've actually had to STOP drinking Diet Coke. Yes, that's right. I recently switched back to Coca-Cola Classic because I can't afford to lose any more weight.
But you know what's really embarrassing? When I'm forced to eat in social situations. Because I have a tiny stomach, I can't ever seem to finish a meal or keep up with everyone else's eating. People accuse me of picking at my food, being wasteful or, worse, they assume that I'm anorexic. You can't even imagine how unbearable Thanksgiving can be for a girl like me.
It sucks being a literal and metaphoric lightweight. When it comes to alcohol consumption, I'm a cheap date. It doesn't take much Liquid Awesome to get me Dance On The Table Drunk. That's why it's so easy to over-do it... Which puts me in danger of being the life of the party all too often. I mean, really. How could shoulders so slight ever be expected to bear the weight of such a burdensome expectation?
I guess there is one upside to the trials and tribulations of being a skinny bitch, though. After I've dirty danced with every guy in the place and have finally blacked out from even so much as a thimble full of vodka, it doesn't take much effort for my friends to carry me out of the club.
